Since I completely lied to you and my bitterness wound has not stopped oozing yet after the 24 hours I asked you to grant me, I decided that a guest post was in order! Nice Guy has returned, at my request, to answer a question that is about as important and debated as that old "chicken vs. egg" argument. And you all know how much I love the male perspective. Enjoy!
Melanie has asked me to discuss male/female friendships and the guy’s point of view.
Whoops, I said it. Yeah, a guy thinks about sex. A lot. That shouldn’t be much of a shock, right? I mean, aren’t there episodes of Sex in the City about that? (I honestly wouldn’t know.) Not that I would suggest that we all get our advice from the boob tube. While a well written show can certainly make you think, I don’t believe it is the best idea to get my advice from fictional characters designed to entertain us. But, guys thinking about sex should be pretty obvious to a woman.
Before I go any further, I need to let everyone know that I have female friends. Probably about as many as I do male ones. I don’t play out elaborate fantasies in my head. I feel pretty comfortable around them, and I certainly trust myself to not do anything stupid. I value all of my friendships, and I would not want to jeopardize it because we are obviously friends for a reason. So, I do believe that there can be platonic friendships between men and women. We just shouldn’t be so naive to not realize that there isn't some potential for sexual attraction or tension.
But anyway, back to the sex part.
I really have to be careful how I say this, and I hope I am successful in my intention, because guys don’t get all perv for you. Any heterosexual guy that is around you has at some point thought about something sexual-ish about you. I’m not necessarily talking full on imagine-you-in-the-sack, thinking about sex. It’s more of an appreciation of what physical characteristics you possess. Of course, it can also be more than just the physical. I’ve certainly been attracted to personalities before.
And that’s okay!
I do think that both men and women can get a lot out of a platonic friendship. When men are around other men and there is the rare event we talk about our feelings, most of the time there is a manly punch to the shoulder and the advice to “Man Up”. Which, don’t get me wrong, it can be incredibly helpful advice sometimes. However, most of my relationships that I have with my friends of the female persuasion tend to have a greater degree of collective introspection. I have probably realized more about myself with the help from honest advice of my closest female friends than from any other source. I cherish a few women in my life for that.
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