Thursday, September 23, 2010
"I See Bad Online Daters..."
A few weeks ago, I was strangely persuaded to make a go at eVow.com, Plentyoffish.com's newest online dating endeavor designed specifically for those people with long-term relationship and/or marriage intentions. Sounds peachy! After weeks of actively maintaining my presence on this new site, I've had contact with one man. We'll call him Mr. Forward. Mr. Forward is a recently divorced Atlantan who is moderately attractive (according to his pictures...remember Mr. Braves Fan? Yeah, taking it with a grain of salt.) and who actually gave me the benefit of the doubt, responding to an introduction email I sent him without having seen my pictures. Had he not shared that my profile was lacking them, I probably wouldn't have known. Apparently, you have to click another button to make your pictures public after you upload them (who posts private pictures?!). I appreciated his open mindedness and responded with my usual initial conversation sprinkled with a light helping of getting-to-know-you questions. He responded within a few hours.
In said response, he told me that he doesn't usually date women of his own race, but was willing to go out on a limb. Thanks? He also told me that he is very inquisitive and likes to ask women a lot of questions right off the bat. Finally! Exactly what I've been waiting for! No more "How is your day?" or "What's for dinner?" boring emails/texts! I read on. He'd included a list of questions in bullet format and started with the basics: "What's your favorite food?", "What kind of music do you listen to?," all building up to the heavy hitters. He followed his general inquisition with a much more scandalous one: "If we were in love, what would you do with me tonight?", "If you could choose between the following, what would it be: cuddling on a couch, making out in a car or having sex on a rock in the middle of a stream?" and "Do you agree with traditional gender roles, such as the woman staying home and maintaining the household while the husband goes out and earns the bacon?" Oh, Mr. Forward. You've asked the wrong girl.
Completely overlooking the blatant overstepping of using the word "love" in the second email and even more so using the word "sex," the first thing that jumped to my attention was his last question. Now, I will be honest and say that I did some assuming here based on how he worded the question. Had he asked what I thought about traditional gender roles and not if I agreed with them, I would have been a bit less sharp-tongued. (Sidenote: who enjoys sex on a rock in the middle of a stream? Is that meant to be romantic? Because personally, I'd imagine you'd end up with a lot of cuts, bruises, scrapes, and other physical maladies that would all trump whatever split-second romance was involved. Plus, where is he going that there are human body sized rocks?!?). I was happy to share my opinion on "traditional" gender roles.
Now, I wasn't as direct in my response to Mr. Forward and surely did not use any anatomically correct terms. I probably should have since he felt that it was appropriate to use certain language he chose, but I resisted and took the high road. I simply told him in no uncertain terms that I did not agree with the "barefoot and pregnant" philosophy. It's been days. I've gotten no response. I'm thinking I've received Rejection By Silence.
What do you think about "traditional" gender roles, Singletons? Would you be willing to give up your career to maintain a household? Would you sacrifice to that extent if your spouse wanted you to (male or female)?