Saturday, October 29, 2011
Annual Christmas Newsletter - The Single Version
That's lie. But, I am freshly bitter with the wind knocked out of my sails and feeling very 'blah' when it comes to men, in general (which might stink for the PlentyofFish.com guy who wants to meet me next week). I think I'm owed that, though, for at least a month or two. And quite frankly, I'm at my most creative and inspired when I'm oozing with negativity. So, in reality, it's your gain.
A few weeks ago (long before the reality of my impending, continued Singledom status was revealed), three rather comical coworkers of mine started complaining about the annual family newsletters that people send at Christmas, full of clip art, youngsters doing... well, youngster things, and updates of phenomenal accomplishments since the previous newsletter. Quite honestly, I think this is a feeble attempt at keeping in touch that eliminates the endless, monotonous phone calls to distant relations through the year, because the sender either realizes how dull this information truly is or they simply don't care about what anyone else's family has been up to and the newsletter provides an easy one-sided approach. They were griping about putting them together and including things like "Oh, Child X got suspended from school again, but this time there were no emergency room visits involved" when other friends shared things like scholarships, athletic awards and Nobel Peace Prizes.
As a Singleton, I've never had the "pleasure" of putting together an annual newsletter about anything. I send a Christmas card, but generally just sign my name or add something like "I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas season." You know, because I don't have a family of my own, just a ridiculously loud biological clock that won't shut the hell up and ovaries that are on the brink of packing up and moving to greener pastures. But, I digress...
Of course, this realization of yet something else I was missing out on combined with my everyday bitterness (imagine how great this moment would have been had it been paired with today's monumental bitterness... epic) inspired in me a potential great work of art. Something that will live on long after me and my bitterness have bitten the dust. Something that generations will look upon with delight and awe.
I will write a Singleton's Annual Christmas Newsletter.
But, I need to make sure it's jam-packed with goodies of Singledom, so I need your help. With Halloween mere days away, Christmas is literally around the corner. What else could I include in my run-down of 2011, the Single Girl's version?