Friday, September 3, 2010

Vicious Cycle

Sometimes men are amazing to me.  I take that back.  Certain men are always amazing to me.  I do love men in general.  I love the way they talk, move, act, look, feel, smell (and by "smell" I mean cologne, because I'm not a fan of the men who think it's attractive not to wear deodorant because it's the "natural man scent" or other silly excuses to have bad hygiene...I do enjoy it sometimes after a guy has spent a long day doing yard work...but that's a whole different topic and I'm trying to remain credible here), work, protect, admire, show emotion, don't show emotion...  I heart men.  But, read that first sentence with sarcasm, and you'll catch my drift for this particular topic. 

As you're well aware, I have cautiously re-entered the world of online dating.  Cautiously and skeptically.  I'm still holding out that I'm attractive, engaging and personable enough to meet someone in real life, but thinking that online dating will give me better practice towards achieving that goal.  Kind of like going to interviews for jobs you don't want just so you can become better versed at answering the questions.  So far (24 hours), Plentyoffish.com is the only source for these electronic connections.  I definitely feel the New Girl in Town syndrome again as my "People Who Viewed You" section has been increasing faster than the national debt calculator. 

I love "People Who Viewed You" sections.  Why? I'll be happy to share.  It takes some of the pressure off.  It reminds me of when I used to work in sales.  Cold calling a client was so much harder if they'd never heard of you.  Walking in off the street and trying to wrangle some money out of a small business owner's hands in exchange for some intangible product that was going to increase their sales is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done.  Don't get me wrong, I kicked butt.  I just hated that feeling of the unknown reaction.  But, had someone come in before me and said "Oh, you need to talk to Melanie; she's got a great product for you; I'm going to tell her to come see you" then watch out.  I could take that place by storm.  "People Who Viewed You" is kind of like that friend who name-dropped for you.  They've checked me out already and did one of two things:  either they ran screaming and couldn't click the close button fast enough or they were nervous or hesitant about being the first to communicate.  Being the great communicator that I like to pretend to be, I have no problems breaking the ice.  So, if they've viewed me, we seem to be a match and they're not hard on the eyes, I drop them a line.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  But, I like the odds better than cold calling.

I'm sure you're wondering what the above two paragraphs have in common.  Again, I'm more than happy to explain.  Today, I logged into my account on Plentyoffish.com to continue the endless stream of witty banter with Mr. Hangover (we'll get to this in a minute) and noticed, as I said earlier, the impressive amount of views I had received since last night.  But, one face kept popping up over and over again with multiple views.  A face that I clearly recognized.  I threw myself back in my car and cackled maniacally.  Mr. Braves Fan.

Mr. Braves Fan and his false photos have reemerged.  I'll give him credit, he's sticking to those photos that range from birth to the adulthood of some strange unknown man that doesn't even closely resemble him in the flesh.  Mr. Braves Fan, who took me out to dinner (another one that made me drive halfway around the state) and then didn't even respond to my "Had a nice time, thank you" email.  Ever.  He never even closed me as a match, just let me sit out there dangling in No Man's Land.  Again, not that I was overly distraught, there was no physical attraction whatsoever and his attitude-laced response to how long I'd taken in the bathroom (I drove 45 minutes to get there! And forgive me if I have the bladder of an ant!) of "I had to start playing a game on my iPhone to occupy myself" sort of enforced the fact that this guy wasn't going to make any more progress towards Coupledom with me. And I swear I wasn't doing the bathroom-"rescue me"-phone call.  But, he really taught me a lesson that these are human beings that I'm meeting out here, not just photos and profiles.  Treating people with common courtesy regardless of how you felt or didn't feel should be a regular part of online dating.  I sat through a reasonably painful dinner where I had to drive the entire conversation which centered mostly on his father's local political campaign, his dislike of our current president (dangerous first date material) and how he works for an insurance company that tracks hurricanes, typhoons and other natural disasters to assess the risk and vulnerability of their clients.  Initially I thought this interesting tidbit would spark some conversation, so I jumped all over it and asked if he knew that earthquakes or hurricanes were coming before the mainstream did.  Nope.  Silly question, Melanie. No such conversation-luck.  But, I think my efforts to create a social situation were at least worth an acknowledgement of my existence if not a "thanks, but no thanks" response.  I'm torn as to what I want to happen next.  Do I want him to write to me so I can either ignore him or tell him that I'm not interested, but am giving him more courtesy than he gave me?  Or do I want him to stop looking at my profile and just go away?

Update on Mr. Hangover.  He's clever.  He's witty.  He's definitely creative.  He's taken me on a strange journey through the inner workings of his humor.  But, I think the most that's happening here is a challenge of wits.  He's good...he may have me beat.  I'll keep you posted.  I've also managed to snag myself another texter, who probably won't even make it to blog monicker status.  In response to a carefully written introduction email with actual sentences on my part, I got his phone number and "use it if you like to text."  Dear God.

11 comments:

  1. Okay, it's probably super against the blogging rules to comment on your own post, but dear Lord. Not only did I find a texter, but I've managed to find a pushy texter. Upon sending me his phone number, I responded with as little effort as he put in by simply asking for his name (who texts someone that they don't know their name?!). He told me and I figured that was that until I got desperate enough to text him. Within 30 minutes, he wrote back "Are you going to text or what?" He's not cute enough to be that nervy.

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  2. LOL! I'm so far from being a singleton, but your post is hilarious!

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  3. Thanks, Karen! I think making it funny is the only way I stay sane! Thanks for doing the Blog BBQ, too. I've met so many fun, new people because of it today!

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  4. Hi! I popped over from Karen's BBQ to say hello. I love the look of your blog - so cheery! :-)

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  5. Thanks Shannon! I love this BBQ thing! And all these new faces on my blog!

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  6. Melanie, what a great concept for a blog! Love it!

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  7. I'm not single though Isometimes wish I was. Great blog. I'm a follower now from Karen's blog BBQ.

    Clarissa Draper from Listen To The Voices

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  8. my alter ego is single can I follow you? the real me is married but a hopeless matchmaker I promise i'll be good :)
    I love this blog its witty

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  9. Joanna, of course! Oftentimes, I call on the advice of my fellow Singletons and Marrieds, so if you've navigated your way out of this silliness, I will definitely appreciate you sharing your map-reading skills! Thanks and I'm so glad you're here!

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  10. Aww you're too adorable!!! I love your honesty!

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  11. Thanks! Now if I could just find a man that agreed with you... ;) I'm glad you found me, and I can't wait to hear what you have to say about these (clears throat) gentlemen. LOL

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