Friday, July 30, 2010

Bad Date Share-a-thon

So, I'm starting to realize that my bitterness indicator light has been on for a while now. The speedometer of my social life went from zero to sixty so fast that I didn't notice any of the warning signs on the dashboard. The bitterness light looks pretty dark and is glowing in full force. I should probably have been paying attention to this, at least for your sake.  So, I'd like to formally apologize to you, my faithful Singleton and Married readers, if I seemed as though you could have handed me a million dollars and I would have found some kind of fault with it over the last few days.

So, to cheer me up, I'd like to ask you all to tell me some of your dating nightmares!  I know that sounds counterproductive, but surely I can't be the only one lost in this world of inappropriate behavior and lack of commitment.  Did you have the worst bad date ever?  Did someone say something to you from across a restaurant table that you never thought you'd hear uttered from anyone's mouth, let alone a potential mate?  Did a date have too much to drink and do something so awful you share it at every party you've attended since?  Do tell...  Pep  me up with your pitiful dating debacles.  Feel free to remain anonymous.  ;)

Update:  As fate would have it, after I officially booted him off the team last night, Mr. Nick@Nite texted me asking if I'd like to go to a baseball game.  I didn't take it seriously since this is his second time mentioning such an outing, but changed my tune when he said an actual date on the calendar.  Unfortunately, I'm previously booked for both of the days he suggested (which were two weeks from now, mind you, what were we going to do between now and then?!), but maybe this will be the straw that breaks the proverbial camel's back.  We can kill this feable attempt at communication quickly and painlessly by letting it just drift off into the sunset.


  1. I went on a beautiful date to an Italian Restaurant and all seemed well until my date kept staring at every waitress as she walked by.....we broke up.

  2. You'd think that guys would be well aware of this dating faux paus by now, but I guess a few of them still need a learning curve. Glad you moved on. Let him go get one of those waitresses and see how they like that approach to impressing girls!

  3. I went on a date with a guy who kept criticizing me the whole time. He even criticized me for disagreeing with him at one point in the conversation. I'm not saying a guy has to keep complimenting me, but insults will not get him a second date.

  4. My last first date consisted almost entirely of the guy talking about his work, with mentions of his long-term financial prospects, and frequent references to all of his ex-girlfriends. The only question he asked me the entire time was about my exes. Seriously? Much like staring at the waitresses, you would think that guys would know not do this. Dating 101 - actually, Normal Human Interaction 101. (Needless to say, there was no second date.)

  5. When I was 19 I ran into a girl at the mall who went to the same party I went to the week before. We sat at the food court and talked for a while and she gave me her number. Later on I called her and set up a date. She gives me directions to an establishment that she told me she was working at and suggested that I pick her up after work and we would go out to get a late dinner. I hadn’t heard of where she was working at and I asked my friend if he knew of the place. “Sure” he said. “It’s a techno club.” Well, I hadn’t thought much of it until that Friday. I was greeted by a rather large and imposing man at the front door. When I told him who I was there to see he allowed me in and asked if I needed any one dollar bills. Now, I’m not racist at all, but it was a little unsettling when I was the only white guy that I could see in the room. This was certainly not a techno club. I asked around for my date and was pointed to the back room. I naively went and there my date was on a stripper pole. When she finished she got dressed and I took her out to eat. After we finish she mentions that she has to stop at a Taco Bell and pick something up from a friend. When we get there she says that she was going to get some cocaine and asked if I wanted any. At this point I feigned tiredness and dropped her off at some hotel party and never called her again.

  6. And we have a winner, folks! Strip club pick-up, nudity upon arrival, stripper poles, Taco Bell and a cocaine run...if you can beat that, you better post it!


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