Right now I feel like I'm in a foreign country and don't know the language. I have no idea what I'm doing and seem to either continue to do things horribly wrong or exceptionally right, depending on how you look at the situation. I need a tour guide, or at the very least, a map. Whoever said dating is fun either never did it or married the first person they dated, because I have yet to discover the fun in all this silliness.
I started out with my little car and my lonely little pink peg in the driver's seat. I revved up my engine, threw it in high gear and headed out of the starting gate. First stop, Boring Town. Snooze. I spent weeks in Boring Town, meeting boring men with boring lives and even more boring conversation. They were so boring, in fact, that they actually made up details to seem more interesting and even presented photos of themselves that weren't themselves...just in an attempt to fool me into thinking they weren't citizens of Boring Town. I high tailed it on out of there pretty quickly.
Next on my path was Non-commit-ville. Non-commit-ville was full of gentlemen who were happy to correspond in any form but in-person and were usually pretty good at it. They'd send me beautiful, well-written emails or texts, but wouldn't make any attempts to coordinate any kind of face-to-face interaction and when almost literally forced into the situation by me, sucked it up, dealt with it for the hour or so that it lasted and then ran as quickly as possible back to their safe little computer nook. When I took the screaming and kicking bull by the horns and made ill-fated attempts to get them to man up, they simply slid away into the shadows of cyberspace, never to be heard from again. Non-commit-ville was a destination on my trip that I didn't see coming, but seems to really circumvent most of Singledom. I keep stumbling back into Non-commit-ville every now and then, so either their residents are getting out and escaping into other towns or I keep ending up back where I started. Got to get a better map.
Somewhere on the horizon, I can see the destination I'd like to get to. Might not be my final stop on the trip, but it would be a nice change of scenery. I'd like to make my way to Normal Guy City. Normal Guy City is made up of a lot of Average Joes. I like Average Joes, I've decided. Guys who are into sports but will at least know how to fake it when I want them to get excited about something like a painting class I took. Normal Guys don't have to carry an ID because you'd never have to ask for it, but will happily tell you where they hail from. Normal Guys want to know you as a person, but will still pepper in some comfortable and appropriate flirtation when the moment is right. They want to engage you in conversation that wouldn't have 90% of it bleeped out on primetime television. Normal Guys are just as fun at a baseball game as they are dressed up at a candlelight dinner and make you feel as comfortable as if you've known them your whole life. They send you flowers or texts to say hello, but never in a creepy, stalker kind of way. They are perfect in their normalcy. I can't wait to get there...I just have no idea how long the highway is out of Skanktown and how many exits there are until Normal Guy City. I'm pretty sure that the exit out of Skanktown probably has some bridge with a slimy little troll that won't let you pass unless you can prove that you aren't a native. But, once I get to Normal Guy City, I intend to stay.