Monday, June 21, 2010

When Blogging Gets Personal

I feel like I'm re-learning everything I thought I was an expert on as far as communication goes over the last couple of weeks.  I'm definitely learning that there are a lot of differences in how people communicate and the levels of expectation that people have from me in this whole crazy dating process.  Let me update you...

So, since we began, you've met Mr. Saturday, Mr. Braves Fan, Mr. Banderas and Mr. Dalton, all worthy in their own special ways.  We all agreed weeks ago now to just write off Mr. Saturday and his rude way of ignoring my basic communication.  I didn't write about it (because honestly, there was nothing really worth talking about!), but I met Mr. Braves fan almost a week ago now.  "Braves Fan" was about his only characteristic of note, besides his mentioning of "fake boobs" within the first three minutes of our meeting and his willingness to share his opinion on homosexuals.  He was extremely and obviously nervous, which surprisingly made me less nervous.  He was very skilled in the interview-style, firing range approach to first meeting questioning, so I'm assuming that this was not his first trip down Match Meeting Lane.  There was nothing overly charismatic or appealing about him and conversely nothing horrible or detestable.  However, as the inspiration for my recent posting about attraction, I was entirely and thoroughly blown away by the fact that this man did not in any way, shape or form, even resemble the photographs that he posted on his profile.  Even the photos themselves looked as though they were of various people after further scrutiny.  Had he not recognized me when he arrived at the restaurant, I would have completely overlooked him, sitting patiently in the lobby waiting for someone I thought would look like the Mr. Braves Fan I had seen online.  Further review after the meeting confirmed that one of the photos could have been him, but maybe ten or twelve years ago.  Not acceptable.  So, a week later and still nothing from him.  Hopefully he found me as equally uninteresting.

Let's continue.  Mr. Dalton, as you'll recall, has been in and out of the picture for several months now, and as I learned this weekend, has read my blog.  That's fine.  I'm also assuming that he's intelligent enough to have figured out that he is, in fact, Mr. Dalton.  Correct me if I'm wrong, of course, but I feel like I am just being honest and chronicling my pursuits, without slandering or being malicious.  At least, I'm trying my best.  Well, apparently, Mr. Dalton read something that he did not find appealing and became pretty aggravated with me that I seem to be so busy here lately.  After trying to coordinate a time to meet him later this week, he sent me the "throwing in the towel" text message, but complimented me on my "awesomeness" with my blog.  Although, I personally don't think that was coincidental at all, feel free to make of that what you will.  He told me he was frustrated with me because I didn't want to talk on the phone prior to our meeting (I mean, what would we talk about upon meeting if we used up all our good intro-conversation on the phone? I don't think that's an unreasonable request) and that he couldn't share his emotions with me via text or email.

Am I wrong in thinking that an electronic relationship shouldn't involve emotions?  Maybe that's why none of these endeavors has been successful for me at this point.  My texts and emails aren't bursting with emotion, which would be fabricated anyway.  Am I wrong in thinking that someone you meet online, having never seen in person shouldn't have emotions to convey?  I just can't wrap my brain around which emotion he would share with me at this point.

After wishing him luck in his pursuit of happiness, which would no longer include me for obvious reasons, I sat wondering if my blogging would lead to my downfall.  Is it good and productive for me to continue to share the in's and out's of this silliness with the world or is it setting me up for a disaster if read by the wrong person?  What if I find The Man of My Dreams and he reads this blog, only to discover some dealbreaker and leave me right back where I started, as a Singleton?  What if he thought he was the only one in my scope to find out that I had been seeing other people when we met?  Food for thought...  Now, Mr. Dalton's choice of words and rash decision was a bit more critical than I intended to see past, so his dislike of anything he read was not bearing on my decision.  I was thinking more in terms of future meetings.  But, honestly, I think that I am simply being honest.  For once in my life, I'm not hiding the fact that I'm struggling with this process or the fact that I'm not focused on one particular match, which is absurd this early in the game.  I'm not hiding the fact that I have been successful in almost every other thing I've tried in my entire life except dating.  And I'm learning as I'm going.  And getting the helpful insight of friends, new and old. 

So, while Mr. Dalton was struggling with expressing his emotions via text message on Saturday night, unwilling to schedule a time that worked for both of our schedules, I was utilizing my newly freed time and coordinating a meeting with Mr. Banderas, who has absolutely no problem with communicating in any form I'm comfortable with.  He seems excited about meeting and as non-chalant about the whole thing as I am.  As always, I'll continue to keep you posted because I have no intention of editing myself or this blog.  My pondering quickly led to brief laughter followed by contemplation of my next installment.  :)

P.S. Mr. Too Many Words has popped back on the scene.  He sent me a very (what I'm hoping was) witty email on Saturday that simply contained a question mark.  He continues to call me "Melly," much to my chagrin.


  1. If you have to censor yourself, then you haven't found Mr. Right yet.

  2. If he's "the one," he'll totally understand and you won't have to ponder those questions...

  3. I like it a lot. A women as good with words as you are should use words to get out what has been deep down inside you for a while.

  4. I agree. Mr. Right isn't Mr. Right if he can't handle your honesty. Keep writing! I love reading your blog. :)

  5. This is Mr. Dalton.

    Honestly Melanie, your blog had nothing to do with me "Throwing in the Towel." I wasn't being sarcastic when I said I thought your blog was awesome. Believe what you will but your blog had no effect on my decision on whether I wanted to date or not date you. A lot of what you have said here is what I've gone through. I thought you knew I had seen your blog from the direct message I sent you on twitter when we started following each other. This was before I winked at you on Match.

    I didn't care if there were other guys. One has to be naive to think there aren't other people. I didn't read about any of those guys, except for the Bret Michaels fanatic, which I read before I winked at ya.

    I wish you luck with your search and with your blog. Kudos for misinterpreting my emotions text and making me sound like a puss. lol. I Probably deserve that

  6. Oooooh I'm lovin' the drama Mel! This married with children lady is gonna live vicariously through you for a while ;-) See you in a couple weeks!!!

  7. Keep on writing! I personally try to keep guys I am dating out of my cybersphere (facebook, myspace, blog) just so that they can get to know me and not try to cyberstalk me and find things out that way.

    And just like everyoen say, he's not the one . . . NEXT!!


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