Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Take It or Leave It

Yesterday I had a wonderful conversation with a very dear friend of mine.  During college, we were constant companions for a long time, but drifted apart as life took us in different directions.  Over the last few months (and several thousand miles including a rather large ocean), we've reconnected and it was like we never missed a beat, joking and laughing almost about the same things we joked and laughed about years ago.  Yesterday, he was asking me about life in general (and getting pointers on starting a blog of his own, check it out!) and I shared with him what I think to be a rather pivotal step in the right direction for me.  After years and years of unconsciously doing this, I told him that I've figured out that I'm finished with changing who I am to fit the needs and/or wants of the particular guy that I'm in pursuit of at the moment.  There was a pause and, in his usual witty way, he typed (we were online chatting...international long distance is a...well, female dog) "Standing and clapping for you right now."  I reread my own words on the screen and thought "Yeah...and I mean it this time."

So, as I contemplated this major step in the right direction last night, I was thinking about what this really means.  I made a mental list of the things that come along with loving/liking/interested in pursuing this Singleton and thought it would be extra therapeutic to share it with you.  Plus, you can continue to hold me accountable if, per say, you notice me all of a sudden no longer showing interest in say, baseball, just because the guy I'm with loves football.   You therefore have permission to slap me silly, point me in the direction of Chipper Jones (who hopefully will be wearing knee socks at the time so that it fully captures my attention....hmmmm....sorry, okay, I'm back) and remind me of my lifelong passion for America's Pastime.  And I just love hearing what you have to say. 

Top Ten Things You've Got To Be Okay With To Be With Me:

  1. Attending sporting events, mostly baseball, regardless of the temperature outside.  Although I do have my limits, I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to see my favorite team just because I might sweat a little. 
  2. Me absolutely adoring my niece and talking about her just a little less than Kathie Lee talked about her kids pre-Frank Gifford's affair.  Just because I love my niece tremendously doesn't mean that I can't love anybody else or that I don't hold you in as high a favor.  Everything she does is new to her and because she's the first child for me or any of my sisters, it's new to us too.  So, I get excited being around her and do my auntly duty of showering her with attention and gifts.  I can still love/like you, but you can't be jealous or intimidated by my very different love for her.
  3. My very dorky obsession with crafting.  Crayons, colored pencils, paints, canvas, knitting, crocheting, hand-painted birdhouses, color-by-number, coloring books...all things that get me excited.  I can literally spend hours in a Hobby Lobby or Michael's.  I won't necessarily expect or even consider that the man of my dreams will be the slightest bit interested in participating in any of these Martha Stewart-like activities with me, but you can only moderately make fun of me for it...with a grin and a wink.  Imagine the homemade Christmas gift possibilities!
  4. That I like to talk...and I like to talk often.  I'm not asking you about the details of your day to keep tabs on you; I'm asking because I'm truly interested.  It's when I stop asking that you should be concerned.  If you haven't noticed, I like to tell stories and most of my plotlines that would take other people about two sentences to wrap up, take me a few more because I like to tell them in an entertaining way. 
  5. That my best friend is a guy.  And honestly, I have a lot of guy friends.  Most of my life I've had a tendency to connect better with the guys.  I'm sure it has something to do with being a Daddy's Girl growing up...big time.  I have a lot of female friends too, but probably have more men in my social network than most females.  I'm living proof that it is possible to be friends with the opposite sex.  But, I don't think my best friend is going anywhere and since he's been around for about ten years now, we're pretty attached.  But, that doesn't mean that you should be intimidated by him or any of the guys I consider my buds.  If I'm committed to you, that's it and you'll never question that by my actions, words, gestures, etc....hopefully.  So, just consider that, with my guy friends, you not only get a girlfriend but a larger circle of friends yourself. 
  6. That I'm good when it comes to debate and arguments, but if you don't fight fair, I will lose respect for you.  I don't tolerate bullying, name-calling or dirty fighting.  I'll argue with you all day long until we both feel better about it, but as soon as you leave me standing there or hit me below the belt, my wall goes up and we're done.   I'm a good listener and will respect your view until you don't respect mine.  Then I'm out.
  7. That, although it's truly rare, I'm going to have a down-day every now and then.  Again, this doesn't mean I don't love/like you, but sometimes I can't be peppy-Melanie all the time.  Cut me some slack and don't take it personally.  I'll bounce back in the morning!
  8. I do love cards, I won't lie.
  9. That I don't want to be treated like all of the rest of your friends.  I need a clear distinction that I'm different.  Nothing specific; I won't demand flowers on a weekly basis or expect you to send me Hallmark cards until the post office gets sick of delivering them.  But, I do need to know that I'm not just one of the guys or my brain starts doing weird things and my feelings get hurt. 
  10. That I'm going to get restless sometimes and just want to go do something without knowing what it is I want to do.  Self-explanatory.  Best way to combat this is to put me in a car and either drive around until I start saying that I want to go home or until we stumble across something to do.  You know, if you're just as un-particular as I am!
  11. That I drink, swear and talk about things (occasionally) that might not cut the muster in the ladylike department.  I don't drink like a fish, cuss like a sailor or not know when to turn the 13-year-old boy topics off.  I can be refined, respectful and tasteful whenever the situation calls for it.  But around the right people, my filter gets turned to the off position and I can keep up with the best of 'em.  Remember when Mr. Too Many Words basically said I was uptight?  Yeah, he was way off.  Had he met me in person, he would have come to know that, but I digress.
So, that's me!  Just skimming the surface really, but this is a good list to get started with.  There aren't any skeletons in my closet or things that I might spring on you a few months in that will make your head spin.  I never nor do I intend to ever change genders, I don't have any convicted felons in my family or weird quirks like the need to touch my food to my chin before I eat it.  If you're okay with all ten of these not-such-a-big-deal characteristics, then bring it!

No comments:

Post a Comment

You might also like...

Related Posts with Thumbnails