So, as my ever-faithful readers (if you are still there considering the ridiculous gaps between posts and even more inexcusable lapses in my own original material...fingers crossed anyone is actually reading this), you get the extreme pleasure of being the beneficiaries of said ponderings and considerations and helping me unravel the unending streams of consciousness that seem to only complicate my already over-analytical thought processes.
So, this desire to focus on men in "the real world" got me thinking about my approach and style when it comes to interacting and building relationships with the male species. I think we've talked about this before, but I'll explain for the newbies. Throughout my entire adolescent and adult life, the men that I've been most attracted to have started out as my friends. And eventually, their charm, wit, and all around fabulousness caught the attention of my heart (and/or my eyes... and... I'll leave it at that.) and I was smitten. Years ago (like, we were 12), a friend with whom I am still extremely close and who maintains this sentiment to this day, told me that she was sure I would end up marrying someone who was my best friend first. And I knew instantly that she was probably right. I feel like I have to have that foundation of friendship first. I don't want to build a relationship on physical attraction and then try to create an emotional bond and connectivity after the fact. And I'm not sure that I want our first date to technically also be the first time I ever lay eyes on the guy either. At 30, I don't want to jump into a dating situation without knowing some non-dating background on the person first. What if I find out he buries kittens up to their necks in his backyard for giggles on Saturday afternoons after we've been dating for months? Or something as dreadful as (dear God) he's not a Braves fan??! (Gasp in terror.) Time wasters, people. And this girl and her biological clock cannot withstand time wasters.
The problem here is that most of the men who have become the object of my affection following months or even years of friendship don't seem to have such an easy time turning the Friendship Boat around to head upstream toward Coupledom. More often than I'd like to share, I get the "I don't want to ruin our friendship" line. Here's my question to you, Singletons and Marrieds: When is the potential for a fantastic relationship worth the risk of losing the friendship?
Granted, just because I think we'd make a wonderful couple and have stunningly beautiful babies doesn't mean that he (hypothetical man) necessarily agrees with me, and I realize that the "ruin our friendship" line could be total bull crap and really translate as "I'm not interested in dating you, but don't want to hurt your feelings." Lame. I'm grown. I can handle it. Interesting men are like a good pair of shoes. Potentially hard to find, sad to see go when they're worn out and appreciate them for their beauty and the great times we shared together, but the shoe store is right down the street and probably having a sale. I'll get over it when I find another pair of black patent leather heels that make my calves look awesome. But, I digress.
Anxiously awaiting your commentary...