Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Treat me like a junkie...
This week has been rather hard. As I tried diligently to be the grown up, sophisticated young woman that I like to portray myself to be, I had a set back. You ever have something in your life that you're just holding out hope will come true? Something that you just figure, "Eh, if I wait long enough, it will work out the way I want it to." I had one of those things and, like most train wrecks, it fell apart last week. It was really only a matter of time. We had been chugging down the track for years and I could see the giant road block up ahead, I just didn't have any sense of depth perception to anticipate its arrival. There were signs along the track, tons of them for that matter. I thought that if I ignored them, the road block might be easily ignored as well. Now it's time to sort through the wreckage and decide which pieces I want to take with me, which pieces will help me be the person I want to be and which pieces aren't worth dragging along on the rest of my journey. It won't be easy, but I know I have to do it.
So, on that note, I know that I am the only one that can do something about it. I have to get up and make the change that I want in my life. I'm actively pursuing lots of things right now...I'm going to try singles groups, church groups, activities designed just for singles, even speed dating, and really try to force myself to just meet new people. Don't get me wrong, I do want all these things because without them, I'll live a long, boring, lonely life. But, it's going to be a change and if you've known me for five minutes, you know that I'm not really Change's biggest fan. I need all of my friends to treat me like a junkie...stage an intervention if necessary! Ask me how I'm doing, keep me on my new path, introduce me to people I may have been resistant to meeting before because I was holding on to something that wasn't even there in the first place.
As I go along, I'll update you on what works, what doesn't, what's uncomfortable, what I really enjoyed, and hopefully who I've met along the way. I know that I need to meet new people as I watch my little group of friends all go get married off and I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs "waiting." Waiting for what? No more waiting. I'm going to get out there and meet new people, with new ideas and new adventures. I've spent too long sitting around in the dark, scared, waiting and hoping that what I want just falls into my lap. I'm going to open the curtains and let the sun in and see what happens!