First, I'd Like to Thank The Academy...

Guess what, Singletons and Marrieds?!? I received an award!  Well, actually, the blog received an award... but, still!  So excited to accept a "Versatile Blogger" award from Jenny, Exiled, my fellow bloggerista who share stories of media, motherhood and misadventures.  Click on her link, you'll love it.

There are some rules (as with life) in accepting such an honor in the blog world, and if I nominate you, they're below.  Of course, no one is going to hunt you down if you don't follow them to a 't,' but a shout-out would be fantastic.  You know, a shout-out with a hyperlink.  Now it's my turn to make good on the rules.

Nominate Fifteen Four Blogs

• Always a Drunk, Never a Bride - I literally LOL at this blog.  You will not be disappointed.
• Rambles, Rants, and Refreshing Recollections - a refreshing tale of honestly finding your way in this life.  And she correctly uses an Oxford comma in her title, so I couldn't resist.
• Hyperbole and a Half - quite possibly one of the funniest things I've ever read... every single time she posts.
• Seraphic Singles - whenever I need a jolt back to moral reality, I take a gander at this very well-written blog by author, Dorothy Cummings.  

Seven Things About Me (that you probably didn't know)

First Date: Available Upon Request

All right, Singletons and Marrieds.  I know a few weeks ago I teased you with references to some scandalous encounters with serial texters, and I have yet to make good on that promise.  It's coming, friends.  Pinky swear.  I might even get inspired and go on a blogging tyraid!  But, tonight let's talk online dating profiles.

Now, we've had this conversation countless times and I've said it before - I am, by no means, an online dating profile writing expert.  Obviously... I'm still single.  If I had the inside track to all things electronically required to hook a man via cyberspace, this blog would have ceased to exist months ago.  But occasionally I stumble across a profile that is well worth sharing and I can't resist.

This morning, I got one of those lovely "Someone wants to meet you" emails from PlentyofFish.com.  I know, I know... I totally need to take my profile down.  It's generating nothing but blog material.  And some text messages that I wouldn't want anyone to find if I got hit by a car.  Most especially my mother.  "Excuse me, Mrs. Melanie's Mom.  Do you know why your daughter would have this (turns phone towards my mother) stored in her phone?," the officer would say.  There would be no response.  My mother would pass out cold.  Anyway.  I didn't recognize the screenname of my newest suitor, so I opened the link to his profile and scanned his photos.  Cute enough... several shots of him laughing and doing silly things, baseball hat with the logo from my favorite team (always a plus), running (my new favorite pastime), and drinking beer (well, duh..come on).  I scrolled down aimlessly to read the words in print that were meant to share with the world who he is and what he's looking for in a partner.  What I found is either the most comical satire in online dating history or a man who seriously does not want to date anyone and is somehow being forced into maintaining an online dating profile.  At gun point.