To Date or Not To Date

I don't know how well I thought through this whole "online dating hiatus" thing.  At the time, I was in the midst of online dating chaos, surrounded by ridiculous profiles and communications that had absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever.  I was overwhelmed with the ridiculousness of it all.  A self-imposed break was a light at the end of the tunnel and just so happened to be perfect timing.  I mean, honestly, who wants to juggle deciphering online-dating-email-man-speak and various uncomfortable first-dates/meetings with Christmas parties (potential target-rich environment... unfortunately, I was unsuccessful again this year), gift purchasing (no boyfriend equals one less present to buy!) and family gatherings (don't get me started on the caliber of man I need to find to tolerate my family in a small setting, let alone when they're at the peak during holiday festivities).

For the last three days I've had an email in my inbox to which I keep going back.  I'll open other emails that are new, glance through some old funny forwards and the like, but this one has a little yellow star next to it that I put there to remind me not to forget about it.  Although part of me wants to forget about it.  Part of me can see Future Melanie stumbling across it when it's entirely too late and overdramatizing a response of "Oh, man! I can't believe I forgot about that email!" with maybe a "disappointed" click of my teeth and a nod of "disbelief."  The other part of me hates to pass up a good deal... a good deal with potential lifelong benefits.  eHarmony, in their never ceasing pursuit of me as a customer, sent an email three days ago singing their own praises, adorned with photographs of the loving smiles and tender poses of endearment of an eHarmony success story couple and giant letters promising a subscription of only $9.95 for three months for returning users.  Urgh.  As a frugal girl on the hunt for love, this is almost as good as free and much less expensive than other nationally recognized online dating options.  You know, besides PlentyofFish.com, but we all know what comes of actual free online dating. (Sidenote, have you seen their television commercial?  We'll visit this topic at a later date.  Stay tuned.)

The more I think about this amazingly good deal, the more it infuriates me.  I am tempted beyond belief to dive back into the online dating pool, simply because it's been a relatively long time with no potential-suitor action to speak of and my weekends are far from noteworthy.  My "good God, I'm running out of time!!!" inner monologue continues to increase in volume as even my "I'll surely get married before they do" acquaintances have almost all found true love and ridden off into the sunset.  And to lay all of my cards out on the table, even though I'm surrounded by people on a daily basis with never a problem finding or making friends, I'm lonely for that distinct companionship that eHarmony "promises" to help me fulfill.  But, back to why it infuriates it... it infuriates me because I can't use my usual excuse of not wanting to pay the standard ridiculously high monthly rate.  Bastards.

Two dates (at places not fulfilling my New Year's Resolution, of course, any establishment meeting that goal would be well worth the $30 investment) would pay for my three-month membership easily.  But are those two dates worth getting back into the shenanigans?  Will the shenanigans be worth it if I meet the man of my dreams?  Do I really need to pay to meet said man of my dreams? Questions, questions, questions...  Oh, believe me, I have more after contemplating this email for the last 72 hours.  But, I'm sparing you.

Here's the catch:  the rate in my email expires at 11:59 p.m. tonight.  Well, supposedly.  Sometimes I get an "Offer Extended!!" email within the next day or two, but they've never sent an offer this enticing, so eHarmony might throw me a curveball and really stick to their deadline guns.  As of writing this, that gives me a little over four hours to decide my immediate future and fate in the realm of online dating.  Nothing like adding another ticking clock to things (See: Things That Aren't So Great About Being Single Reason #5.)

Help me, Singletons and Marrieds.  Do I remain hopeful that I can and do have the power, attractiveness, personality and communication skills to meet an actual, real, upstanding human being man in the flesh or do I temporarily go back to requiring the assistance of 400-question personality surveys and 29 levels of compability??