Risky Revamp

So, I'm almost positive that someone at Plentyoffish.com is reading my blog.  On a regular basis.  And then generating ripple effects based on what my topic is that day.  Which would also mean that whoever it is reading my blog either has multiple profiles on the website themselves or somehow communicates with random men who are members and encourages them to communicate with me.  This can't be a coincidence.

Within three hours of posting on Friday, I received not one, not two, nope, not even three, but four, yes, four emails from new men on Plentyoffish.  Four.  All with various demographical characteristics and none really worth writing home about.  Or writing back to for that matter.  But, I did.  Because I'm a courteous online dater (Not that I'm back on the online dating market!  I promise!  But, who am I to overlook the general practice of common courtesy?  Especially since it totally urkes me [throwing it back 90's style there] when people don't write me back). 

I won't drone on and on with my usual witty banter about the lack of quality communication in the online dating arena, because you've heard it all before and this time (all four emails) was no exception.  Sidenote:  Plentyoffish now has a new function where the online dater can bypass ALL communication processes and simply send someone a note that says "OnlineDaterX wants to meet you."  That's it.  No message, no note, not even a "Hey, wat up, shorty?"  I didn't think it was possible to reach a level lower than the opening one-liner emails, but I guess that's why I haven't landed a gig as a website designer or program developer for Plentyoffish.com!

A friend of mine and I were recently talking about the woes of online dating and as we bemoaned the crop of potentials out there, an interesting point was made.  It was just kind of mentioned in passing, but paired with the 3,492nd horrible email I've received via an online dating website, I got to thinking.  What if...it's actually kind of scary to think about, and if I put too much thought into it, it might become a train that could easily jump the tracks at dangerously high speeds, but... what if I were to experiment with my profile?  Of course, I could only do it on Plentyoffish.com since it's a free site, because I wouldn't want to take any additional unnecessary risks on a paid site.  What if I was completely honest about the things that I love and the things that I loathe (although, I wouldn't use a word as strong as "loathe," maybe something more subtle like "despise") about online dating.  Experimenting, of course, would imply that the men communicating with me are actually reading my profile, because without that crucial element this experiment is null and void.  But, what if I kept the basic information about myself, some of my conversation-starting elements and just came up with politically correct and non-confrontational ways of saying that I'm not interested in introduction emails that say things like "Ur lips look delicious." (Direct quote). (Ridiculous).

This could be big, friends.  This new approach could totally revolutionize the way I online date.  Why should I hide things that are so important and meaningful in my pursuit of a potential suitor?  Why shouldn't I outright say that I'm not interested in anyone who is talking to me in hopes of one-night-stands (I'm pretty sure Mr. Delicious Lips wasn't looking to take me to dinner and a movie)?  Why shouldn't I say that I like to email back and forth for a little bit, possibly text, then talk on the phone and then meet and if you're not interested in the meeting part of that equation, we won't work? Most men describe their ideal woman as "honest."  Would they be completely turned off by actual honesty? Why can't I say that I want someone who will truly engage me in conversation, that I'm not a shallow person who only cares about the exterior and I don't want someone like that to pursue me?  That I want someone I will be able to hold a conversation with if the exterior shine ever wears off.  A conversation that is more than one sentence.  Again, I'd put these things in as positive a way as I could (that's where these writing skills come in handy, big time), but maybe they'd attract someone equally as frustrated as I am who will in turn appreciate my honesty.  I can't do any worse than I'm doing now.

Over the course of the next week or so, I intend to focus on my online dating profile on Plentyoffish.com.  I wouldn't submit a report at work without proofing it hundreds of times and probably having someone else check over it for those pesky mistakes that you miss when you're half brain-dead from working so hard.  So, why not do the same for my online dating profile?  Once I get a good draft under wraps, I am going to share it with you.  That's right.  I'm going to post it right here for the world to see.  I want intense scrutiny.  Some of you may not know me personally, but I'm hoping that your readership of this blog means that you like my writing style.  I'll need you to help me translate what works on this blog into something that may work on my online dating profile.

Start pondering.  And stay tuned...