What to Expect When You're...Single

Over the last month or so, I've been shocked by the popularity of my blog and quite frankly blown away by the fact that (brace for it)...I am not alone!  I'm literally surrounded by Singletons, all sharing the same gripes, the same dreams, the same frustrations and the same successes(however moderate...we are still single).  But, I've been fascinated by the responses.  Some of my fellow citizens of Singledom are quite content with their status, happy to share all the positives of living the Single Life, while their counterparts lament, bemoan, cry out, and other verbs of misery.  While pondering these parallel opinions, I came up with a short list of the pros and cons of being single.

The Upsides to Being a Singleton:

1).  You can do whatever you want.
Don't sell this one short...think about it.  Being single allows you the flexibility to literally do whatever it is you want, whenever you want to do it.  Want to spend the entire day in your favorite pajamas, watch SoapNetwork and eat string cheese?  Do it!  There's no one there to make you feel guilty for not spending "quality" time with them or not keeping them entertained.

2).  You never have to share the remote. 
Or the DVR, for that matter.

3).  You can walk around your abode in whatever state you feel comfortable.
Again, highly valuable.  I bet most Marrieds would love to revisit the days of getting by wearing the holiest, ugliest, most faded thing in their drawer without a care of what anyone else thinks.  Ask around.

4). You don't have to remember anniversaries.
Or spend the money you've been saving for that Coach purse (What do men save up for? chainsaws? toolbelts? Could be why I'm single...) you've been eyeballing for months on a gift that will probably end up in the back of the closet anyway.

5).  The bed is all yours.
You don't have to worry about waking up with someone's elbow/stinky armpit/knee/cold nose/cold feet sticking into you.

6).  You can look...AND touch.
My favorite.


Things That Aren't So Great About Being Single:

1).  There's nobody there to remember things for you.
Spouses/significant others are handy at keeping tabs on things for you, I guess.  But, that also includes remembering things like the time you almost ran Grandma Neighbor off the road while cooing over the bunny rabbit hopping through the yard.

2).  Single Person = Single Income
Hmm...no way around this one.  Unless you're loaded.  Then, who cares. 

3). The other side of the bed is cold.
Eh, get an electric blanket.

4).  The constant "So, are you dating someone?," "Are you married yet?," "What's wrong with you if you're not dating at your age?" barrage at most social functions.
Gives you great comedic opportunities.  I'm thinking my next response to this line of questioning will be something along the lines of "Well, we've got a date picked out, but it depends on how his parole hearing goes."

5).  The dread biological clock.
I don't think you gentlemen can even fathom what I'm talking about.  Hold on...what did you say? No, a little louder. I can't hear you over the ticking and the tocking.  But, then please refer to Upside #1...

6).  Things are more expensive for Singletons.
Honestly, they are.  Look at health insurance and tax deductions, just for starters.  Plus, there isn't a stand-by "I've got this" when you go to restaurants, sporting events, etc. 

Whew!  The list of Upsides was rapid fire.  This Singleton had no problem coming up with some perks of my position.  Amazingly, I had to really think about the downsides.  Not that I wouldn't love to be one half of a couple, but I hope I'm not too comfortable in my Singleton status that I don't adjust well to Coupledom.

Got more items for the list?  What's your favorite or least favorite part about being a one-man/woman show? 

Death by Texting

The last week has been a nice break for me.  My nerves have calmed down a bit, and I'm actually looking forward to the chance to meet the next gentleman in the line of online connections I've made over the last month.  But, I've hit a roadblock that I can't seem to navigate myself around and need some guidance from my fellow Singletons and Marrieds Who Have Successfully Escaped Singledom. 

As of this morning, there are four Match Men in my line of vision:  Mr. Too Many Words, Mr. Baggage, Mr. Italian (who is on vacation this week, therefore off the hook for today's rant) and Mr. Mardi Gras (you haven't met him yet, but I'll introduce you in a second).  As you'll recall, Mr. Too Many Words initially wanted to cut to the chase and seemed on a one-way path to bypass written communication all together.  After I swallowed my pride, gave in to temptation and emailed him back, he blatantly said that he was not interested in meeting at this time and was completely comfortable with emailing.  Okay...fine.  Mr. Baggage, who continues his text messages of Braves game updates and then comments that he thinks I've forgotten about him when I run out of my own color commentary (although my love for the game is deep and true, there is only so much you can say about a baseball game), has skirted around the issue of meeting now for weeks.  Although he is Mr. "Baggage" and comes with his fair share of relatively recent emotional issues, we do have a lot in common, and he's pretty cute.  Okay...  Mr. Mardi Gras, a recent New Orleans transplant with pictures of himself in obviously drunken poses with very loud shirts on, is nice, friendly, funny and...killing me.  He emails me daily, apologizes for the delay in his response, talks about how busy work is, mentions a fun Atlanta hangout he's discovered and says he hopes to hear back from me.  This also has been going on for multiple weeks at this point.  The same general email every single day.  I thought, at first, that the mention of local hotspots would lead to a "Well, maybe we should meet there for drinks/dinner/etc."  Wrong.

Here is my issue:  I have literally run out of things to say to all three of these gentlemen.  I don't feel like I'm on a familiar enough level with any of them to be doing a day-to-day commentary of my mundane activities.  They don't know me personally for me to share work stories or talk about my other friends.  I've got nothing.  It's especially difficult via text.  I can't get inspired to open up about myself when limited to 70 characters, which I know is super hypocritical considering the previous circumstances with Mr. Dalton.  Believe me, I've thought of that.  But, I'm not asking for a phone call here, I'd like to meet these guys.  Any of the three, heck all of the three, I think would be much better in person than they are in these ho-hum messages I'm getting.  These emails and texts simply feel like we're beating a dead horse.  Without in-person interaction, I can't determine if I like any one well enough to permanently consider them one of my frequent text recipients.  Of the three, Mr. Mardi Gras is the only one that I have not outright asked for a meeting.  So, maybe he should fall within a different category.  Basically, I am having a hard time understanding the rationale behind wanting to continue a relationship strictly at the text/email level.  And I'm worried that any of these guys might be wonderful in person, but I'm going to eventually throw in the towel for lack of interest if we simply remain at that "Have you had a good day?"/"Yes, how about you?" communication level.

Last but certainly not least, I think I'm bummed that I still can't find a guy who will man-up and have some initiative.  By not asking me out and making me continually do the asking makes me think that, if we were together, I'd have to make every single decision.  I hate that.  It also makes me feel desperate.  If I have to ask and ask to meet you, it quickly turns into a begging feeling.  Not into that.  I want a guy who is confident and knows what he wants, not wishy-washy and, well, for lack of a better word, boring. 

So Singletons and Marrieds, what should a girl do?  I thought about emailing all three of them, telling them that I am interested in each of them for x,y, and z reasons, we have a lot in common and I'd like to meet them.  In person.  Maybe even saying that I'm worried that our "relationship" is going to die a slow painful death by texting.  Or should I ride it out and see just how long each of them drag out this lack lustre existence.  Maybe none of them is ready to meet anyone, and I should consider this another red flag from the dating gods.  Advice!

P.S. Don't forget that Friday is the deadline to submit your guest posting for "Lost in Singledom."  Read the "Accepting Nominations" post from July 2 for details.